Learning from Leah

Have you ever felt unloved?

February has finally rolled around with all it's pink and red, chocolates and flowers, love in the air. Couples going out and having fun just celebrating each other.

It's all lovely and sweet, and I love celebrating Valentine's Day. But you want to know something? I've never had a 'Valentine'. And it's not an awful thing. I'm enjoying living in this season of my life, growing closer to God, spending time with friends, and just figuring out who I am.

But sometimes I wonder why. Why is no one seemly interested in me? Is something wrong with me? Will I ever have someone love me? I wonder if you have had the same thoughts. Single, married, somewhere in between, we all want to be loved.

Leah wanted it too.

Remember Leah? As in the Leah in the Bible, who we remember as the unloved, overlooked sister of Rachel. Leah who was given by her father to Jacob first, breaking a promise. Leah, the bad sister that we don't usually feel inclined to root for.

If you need a refresher, go ahead and read the part of her story we're focusing on in Genesis 29:21-35.

The story starts out sweet and romantic. Jacob comes to his mother's old country. There he meets Rachel and seemingly falls head over heels in love with her. He makes a deal with her father, Laban, to work for him for seven years to have her hand in marriage.

Leah, Rachel's older sister, is introduced in verse 16-17. She is said to have had "tender eyes, but Rachel was shapely and beautiful (CSB)." Let's stop here for a minute. How many of us have felt less than, not enough, or not beautiful? There seems to always be someone more accomplished or talented or beautiful. We get caught in the trap, the lie, that we are not worth much. It's time we stop believing that lie. We are not worthless. Jesus went to the cross for every one of us. Let's not forget that. Proverbs says, "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised (ESV)."  Physical beauty will fade, so focus on the inside, on who you really are. Keep your eyes tender.

So, seven years pass and Jacob is ready to marry Rachel. There's a huge party, but at the end of the night, Laban breaks his promise. He supports a marriage, yes. He gives his daughter away, yes. But he sends Leah, not Rachel, to Jacob. And for some unknown reason (he could have been drunk or Leah could have been totally covered), Jacob doesn't realize who he's married until morning. He's upset at Laban, who says that tradition has the oldest daughter married first. He offers Jacob Rachel to marry if he works another seven years, to which Jacob agrees to do.

At this point, I wonder if Leah was just following her father's plan. She was the firstborn. She was to be married first. But there were apparently no suitors in sight. Did she feel so unloved, so hopeless, that she was willing to lie and cheat to marry the man she knew loved her sister? "Maybe," she thought, "he doesn't actually love her that much." "Maybe father's right and this is the only way I'll ever be married." She was willing to throw away her family's integrity, her sister's trust, and her own future for a love that would never be truly reciprocated. Have we ever been so desperate that we were willing to give it all away for something that was only a lost hope?

Eventually, Jacob completes his work and marries Rachel (how awkward must their family have been). In verse thirty, it goes on to say that "he loved Rachel more than Leah(CSB)."

Leah knew how it felt to be unloved.

Now, the last part of the chapter is the part that wrecks me. Verse thirty-one tells us that: "When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, he opened her womb... (CSB)" The Lord saw Leah. After all she had done, lying and cheating, God saw her. He saw that she was unloved, and He blesses her. God sees you too. In spite of what you've done (even that deep, dark secret you keep locked away deep inside), He sees you, and He loves you. You are not unloved. You never have been.

But it takes Leah a little while to figure this out. She has kids, and Rachel doesn't. After the first son, she says, "...surely my husband will love me now (CSB)." She's still looking, still searching, still lost. She has another son. "The Lord heard that I am unloved and has given me this son also (CSB)." But that son doesn't fill the void. A third son comes along, and she settles with the "attachment" to her husband through these kids. She never got the love she was longing for.

Finally, her fourth son comes along, and something changes. Leah changes. She responds differently.

"This time I will praise the Lord (CSB)." This time I will look to the One who controls the seas. This time I won't focus on my husband or myself. This time I won't ask for love from man because God sees me and God knows me and God still loves me. Leah finally came to the place she needed to be in the very beginning, praising His name before all others.

Are you seeking God first? Life can get pretty crazy without Him. Are you stuck in the lie that you are unloved? I get it. Trust me, I know what it's like to long for someone. But may we long for our Lord and Savior first of all.

You are not unloved. You are not hopeless. You are not worthless.

                                                                                                                   And you never have been.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading! This was a little different blog post for me to write, and I most certainly am not a pastor or theologian. I'm just sharing what God has been speaking to my heart! The inspiration for this post actually came from day nine of the Little Bible Plan from the Little Faith Blog. Be sure to check her out! Let me know if you enjoyed this post and would like to see more like this! Love you guys, and I'm so thankful for you!

Until next post - Brittney N. Crook

(Photo Credit)